Sunday, May 19, 2013

Facing Fear

When it comes to kids I have no problem striking up a conversation, playing a game, or just hanging out with them. When it comes to teenagers or adults... now that is a different story. I have noticed this especially when I have been around African females. I become very introverted, shy, and uncomfortable- three things that rarely happen with me! 

Yesterday I was at a block party in an apartment complex that had a large Somali population. I saw a group of women standing together and wanted to go hang out with them yet I just couldn't muster up the courage to go talk to them. Then I saw a little boy playing by himself near the sidewalk so I turned my back on my first instinct and instead took the easy way out and went over to him. The problem was this boy had absolutely no interest in me and barely acknowledged my presence. Then I noticed there was a woman sitting on the other side of me just watching everyone. My first thought was to get up and walk away, but I resisted. I had no idea what to say to her or how to strike up a conversation out of thin air. Then I noticed she was holding a baby- yes! I can do babies, perfect opening!  

This woman and I began to chat, very sporadically with a question here and there and honestly mostly guided by her (she was much better at this than I was!). She told me about her children and how she previously lived in Kenya. Of course I jumped on this and we talked about the area of Nairobi she lived in and the area I use to stay. We spoke a little Swahili and she playfully laughed at my attempts. All of a sudden I become very comfortable in her presence, even in our silence.  

As I look forward to working with women in Zambia this summer my anxiety toward it has begun to grow, but yesterday my heart was put at ease. Making friends with this one woman made me feel more comfortable, more like I'd have the ability to do this come July. I know God did this to say "have no fear, you can do this."

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